5 embarrassing moments

1. I order noquis or gnocchi at a restaurant today. The waiter brought a dish that I thought looked vaguely like gnocchi. The dish was two bites big, and I finished eating it in approximately fifteen seconds. I was under the impression that this was my main course, so I reached for the menu and started looking for something else to order. I motioned to the waiter, and when he came over, I asked him a poorly-worded question about the types of ravioli they offer. After thirty seconds of not being able to understand my question, he realized that I was trying to order another dish, puzzled because the noquis had not yet come. He explained to me that that little dish I had in the beginning was fried cauliflower or something like that — that it was nothing — and proceeded to laugh at me as he walked away. I also was chuckling because I was such a fool!

2. I was playing pool or billares today(by myself — isn't that sad), which by the high volume of places to play pool in the city makes me think that pool is the second national sport of Argentina behind futbol. Anyway, I scratched on a shot, and the cue ball never came into it's little hole. I had to inform guy behind the bar in my broken Spanish that I had lost the white ball or el pelota blanco. Then some guy came over and reached his hand in one of the pockets and grabbed the ball. I guess that one's not all that embarrassing.

3. I was walking in the street by myself in Buenos Aires for the first time last night. According to my host, Marianna, the streets of the city are very safe, even at night. Didn't really matter to me. I was scared shitless. There are dogs who belong to no one running around. There is poop all over the sidewalk. There are areas where there is a lot of pedestrian traffic and areas where there is very little. There are cars careening through the streets. Let's just say that I was on edge. My breaking point came as I was walking by a storefront, and something coming out of the door but behind a wall so I couldn't see it scared the snot out of me, and I jumped. Turns out it was a child on a tricycle.

4. Today I signed up for a gym membership. The woman who was instructing me on how to fill out the membership form told me to fill in the telephone number. She then asked me to for an emergency telephone number. Didn't have that either. She was baffled. I actually do have an emergency number — the number of my host — I just didn't have it on me at the moment. Anyway, that's kinda crazy to think about. Mom, do you think they'll make an international call in case of an emergency?

5. Apparently we have a housekeeper, Maria. She was cleaning up our place from noon to 9 today. Nice woman as far as I can tell. And she likes me too, I think. She was telling my hostess today that she thinks I'm guapo. Esta bien.